Monday, January 4, 2016

I’m a programmer and I need a mentor. I know PHP, CakePHP quite well but I need to progress more. I also know HTML, CSS, Javascript, and some SQL.

I need to learn more and progress instead of forgetting and going backwards, and I think a mentor can help me in that by giving me some responsibility/work.

I want challenges and more work and I don’t want to stay stuck. I want to earn enough to support myself using this skill.

I think a mentor can save me from frustration and from becoming a failure because a mentor could tell me what is important, what I should learn, and what I should ignore.

I’m not very new to PHP and CakePHP but I still hesitate to ask for job.

I think I won’t get a mentor because I’m not as skilled as others who have posted their profiles for PHP Mentoring. I can’t say it’s wrong because the person who has worked hard should be helped. I didn’t even post my profile. You have to compete with others for getting help as well. Only fittest will survive.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Every day I walk with a trunk for exercising. I was walking with the trunk when I heard laughing behind me. There were two little boys standing and one of them was laughing because of the way I was walking.

I don’t how to handle these situations. If it happens for very short time, I can try to ignore it. I have no idea what I can do if I’m between few people and a child starts laughing at me.

I tell you about an incident. My cousin’s husband was standing near me with his two daughters. He was carrying his younger daughter. The elder daughter had her mother’s hand bag in her hand and she started hitting me with the hand bag. I expected his father to stop her but he kept ignoring. After some time I took the bag from her and I told her that I won’t give it back. I didn’t say that in strict or serious voice. She told her father that uncle isn’t giving her bag then he paid attention and said to her that uncle will give it back. I gave her bag back after she asked me few times.

It’s very embarrassing if it happens with you and at that time you are around 26 years old. Things like it reminds you of what you don’t have. It reminds you of what you can never have. It reminds you of how unlucky you are.

I like children. I don’t dislike children for things like it. I think parents should intervene and handle the situations like it. And perhaps I also need to learn what I should do in situations like it. Now I think taking the hand bag was the good idea, but I didn’t feel confident at that time. And I won’t be able to do something like it every time because I have very weak hands. Do you have any suggestion what I can do in situations like it?

I know that it’ll happen a lot and I’ll have to face it. It hurts a lot if it happens for even few seconds or perhaps I’m trying to be very special.

I’m not very good at English, but I’m trying to make it better. So, someday I’ll rewrite it.

Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Sometimes, I think about becoming a beggar and this is one of those times. I have all the characteristics of a beggar. My teeth needs dentist. I have a hunch back. My hands doesn’t work properly. I have a thigh bone that didn’t fix properly. The bone didn’t align properly and it healed in a wrong way. And because of that my left leg is shorter and not straight. I have bent feet that doesn’t help at all in walking, instead they make walking more difficult. I’m losing hope as well.

My shoes have been completely torn but I can’t change them because of my feet, especially right foot. My right foot isn’t as bent as left foot, but it suddenly twists when I put my weight on it. And this makes it more unstable.

I feel comfortable in my current shoes even though they are almost torn. I think, because of being worn by me for many years, they have changed their shape according to my feet. They don’t surprise me by suddenly twisting when I walk. I need a doctor as soon as possible.